Marie and Andrew adopted their three children through Adoption Focus. They both write blogs about their experiences and in this post Andrew pays tribute to their middle child.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that being a middle child can be a tough gig. Not so much “Pride and Prejudice”, more “Privileges and Indulgences”. The theory being the eldest child receives the former and the youngest the latter. This leads to “middle child syndrome", where the middle child feels excluded, impacting on their self worth.

I write this as a middle child myself. I can honestly say I have never felt the above (though I may try and play on it occasionally). People that know me may have a different view but I don’t feel I suffered at all. Our middle child however is a different story. It’s clear from the lack of photos taken from when she was young to the human touch she craves now that she has been starved of attention. Her early life experience will have exacerbated her “middle child syndrome" undoubtedly.  

She is now competing with her well-behaved, polite and bright older sister and her cute, intelligent younger brother.

Last year we had a text from school about her older sister saying she had got a certificate. We got a text last week about our middle child to say she had had ”a bad day”. This, it transpired, was some naughty behaviour towards other children that resulted in a visit to the Head. Even when she is having a good day trouble seems to follow her around.

However, let me tell you this little girl is an absolute diamond and the truth is I am probably softer on her than the others. Like a mercurial footballer she frustrates and delights in equal amounts, yet at the heart of it all is a girl desperate to be loved. She throws herself into everything with maximum enthusiasm. This girl will never die wondering. She loves hugs so much I thought at one stage she was powered by them. She is also downright hilarious. The fact is you can’t help rooting for her.

She is who she is. By name by nature. Our lives have certainly been brightened significantly by her being in it. This meat in the sibling sandwich is one hell of a filling. Give her a little love and, unless she is digging herself a hole with them, you will get it back in spades.


You can read more from Marie and Andrew on their blog via this link and follow Marie on Twitter here.

Marie & Andrew - The girl who leant to be a child

Patrick & Janet's Story Part V - Meeting our boys

About the children