Why do we have to come to training? Expand The training provided by Adoption Focus aims to help you to decide if adoption is right for you and to prepare you for adoptive parenting. It will help you to build the skills and knowledge you will need for successful adoptive parenting. You will meet other people who have already adopted who can talk to you about becoming parents through adoption and what this means for you as a family in the long-term. We provide you with information and advice about children, the care they need, and the extra things adoptive parents do to help their children recover from and understand their often difficult early lives. Most people who attend training at Adoption Focus find it both informative and enjoyable.
We don’t have any child care experience. Is there anything we should do? Expand Most adopters don’t, but it can be helpful to spend time with children. You could look at babysitting for your friends, taking your nieces and nephews away for a weekend or volunteering at a local school or play-group. Our training will help you develop your skills and knowledge to start you on your way as a family.
We’ve heard that the process takes ages. How long is it? Expand The adoption process is in 2 stages. Stage One takes 8 weeks from the point when you register your interest with us. During the 8 weeks, we take up references and provide you with some training; and you have your medicals. At the end of the 8 weeks - provided that all the checks and the medical reports have been returned to us - we let you know if you can progress to Stage Two.You have up to 6 months to decide if you want to progress to assessment, and if you do we have 4 months to complete your assessment and decide whether or not you are suitable to be approved.
We have a dog. Will this be a problem? Expand We know that pets can play a hugely positive part in family life and owning dogs, cats or other pets is not a problem. But the child’s needs, or course, are the priority and during the assessment process you'll be asked about how pets are cared for, whether or not they are used to children and what you would do if any children placed could not manage with the pets (e.g. allergies or a dog displaying agitated, snappy behaviour around children).
We think our house isn’t big enough and we are either going to do a big house extension or move. This will all take some time so we want to get on with our adoption plans now. Is that a problem? Expand House moves and building work are stressful, and don’t often run to plan. You need to sort your housing needs out before you embark on the adoption process. The suitability of your accommodation is assessed, and needs to be safe, with sufficient space for all the people who will live in it.
I’ve recently changed jobs, and I’m not sure how my boss will feel about my adoption plans. Do I have to tell him? Expand You will need to be able to take time off work for the training and assessment process and when it comes to finding and placing your child. Your HR department will be able to advise you about adoption leave provision in your job, and this should help you to decide when the time is right to start the adoption process.
Finances are a bit tight, and we might find it difficult for one of us to give up work. Is this a problem? Expand Children need security and they need you to be available for them. Financial difficulties will impact on your ability to parent. It is therefore important that you manage your finances well, and can adapt to the financial demands arising from parenting (e.g. reduction in income if working hours reduced).
We’ve got children already, and would like another one. Can we adopt? Expand Applications are welcomed from people who already have children, (either through birth or adoption) as well as from childless people. We will need to know what your children think about your adoption plans.
I have a conviction for shoplifting when I was 17. Is this a problem? Expand Everyone who wants to adopt, has to have an enhanced Disclosure and Barring Service check (DBS). This will reveal any convictions committed, including ‘spent’ convictions. If you have lived abroad for any length of time, we will also seek a check from the relevant country.Having a previous conviction does not necessarily prevent you from being considered as an adoptive parent. A shoplifting conviction at 17 is very unlikely to be a problem. Every assessment is seen by the agency’s legal advisor who will take a view about any conviction and its implications for an adoption application. The length of time which has passed since the conviction, the context and what you say about what happened are all taken into account.There are some ‘Specified Offences’ which would automatically preclude you from adopting. These include offences committed against children and some sexual offences. There are some other offences which may also mean that Adoption Focus could not take your application forward – e.g. drink driving and public disorder convictions (which may indicate a drink problem). All the checks we do are about making sure that children are safe.
I smoke – is that a problem? Expand Smoking presents a concern because of its damaging effects on health. In addition, passive smoking is damaging to the health of any adult or child in the vicinity of the smoke. An adoption agency has a duty to consider the effects of smoking on children in their care. Adoption Focus will not accept applications from anyone who is currently smoking. We would expect you to achieve a minimum of six months without smoking before applying to us. Applicants who are using e-cigarettes will be accepted.
I was married before. Our divorce was acrimonious, and my ex-wife blames my current wife for the breakup of our marriage, because of our affair. Will you contact her? Expand We seek a number of references from people who know you well, and this includes significant previous partners. However, we will talk to you about your specific circumstances and decide how best to get the information we need. We need references because we must be as satisfied as possible that the child’s new parents will keep them safe and well. An ex-partner will obviously know someone very well, and would be able to tell us if they were worried about a child’s safety. If you had children with your ex-wife then we will need to get a reference.
We have unexplained infertility, and although we could still achieve a pregnancy, this is unlikely. We have heard that we need to use contraception if we want to adopt. Is this true? Expand Children need adoptive parents who feel completely committed to them. Once prospective adopters are approved and considering possible placements, they need to be able to focus on the children who may join them. It would be really difficult for a child to be told that their social worker has found them new parents, only to then learn that they can’t go and live with them because there is another baby – or for this to happen shortly after the child arrives. For this reason it is advisable that steps are taken to avoid a pregnancy. If a pregnancy happens during the assessment process, the application could not continue, because the focus would inevitably be on the pregnancy. Therefore if you are coming into the adoption process we would expect that you are prepared to avoid a pregnancy.
We have had a couple of IVF treatments and want to have another go. We have heard that adoption takes ages so we want to run our adoption application alongside the IVF so that we don’t waste any time. Is this ok? Expand IVF needs all of your attention – and so does adoption. If you are still hoping to achieve a successful pregnancy through IVF, you need to focus on this before embarking on the adoption process. There are two main reasons for this. The first is that if the IVF treatment is successful, you will be enjoying your pregnancy and will not be in a position to adopt. The second is because when we place a child, their adoptive parents must feel committed to them, and to do this they need to have given themselves time to grieve for the birth child they did not have.
I have had depression. I responded well to treatment and know how to keep myself well. I am still on a low dose of medication, but I am fine, and get a lot of support from my husband and other family and friends. Will this mean I can’t adopt? Expand Being on medication does not prevent you from adopting. However, children need parents who are physically and mentally well and we will seek advice from your GP about how you are managing. Becoming a parent can be stressful and demanding, and we need adopters to feel well supported, and mentally robust. If in doubt about this (or any other medical condition) talk to your GP about your adoption plans, and ask their opinion about your health.
I was treated for breast cancer last year. I am getting regular check-ups and have been told that my prognosis is good – can I adopt? Expand As part of the adoption process, you will have a medical with your GP. Our medical advisor will receive the results from this and assess your health and how it might affect your ability to care for a child. If you have been receiving treatment for a particular condition our medical advisor would contact your consultant or other specialist as part of his assessment. Anyone who is hoping to adopt should ask their GP if they have any concerns about their health.
I think I might be too old. What are the age restrictions? Expand You must be over the age of 21 to be allowed to adopt. There is no upper age limit. However, when considering how you are going to meet the needs of a child throughout their childhood and into adulthood, you do need to consider your health and energy levels, and to think about the types of children you could consider adopting.
I was born in the UK, but my wife is Nigerian, and does not yet have leave to remain in the country. Can we start the adoption process? Expand If you are applying as a couple, at least one of you must be a resident of the British Isles, or both of you must have been ‘habitually resident’ in any part of the British Isles for at least one year ending with the date of the application. A court would not grant an adoption order to anyone who has not got 'leave to remain' in this country. For this reason we would not be able to accept an application before this matter is resolved.
We live in London – can we adopt with Adoption Focus? Expand Applicants need to live within about 50 miles of any of our offices (Marston Green in Birmingham, Newcastle-under-Lyme in Staffordshire or Kingston Bagpuize in Oxfordshire). This is so that we can support you through the adoption process. If you are not sure about being near enough, please contact us.
We met a few months ago – I know I can’t have children, and we want to adopt. Can we start the process now? Expand If you have only been together for a short time you will need to give yourselves a while longer to get to know each other and how you expect your family life to be before starting the adoption process. All relationships are deeply affected by becoming parents, and yours needs to withstand the changes adoption will bring. If you need more advice on your own situation, please give us a call.
We have a Civil Partnership – can we adopt? Expand Yes. Adoption Focus accepts applications from married couples and unmarried couples, both heterosexual and same sex.
I’m a single person – can I adopt? Expand Yes. Adoption Focus accepts applications from single applicants and has helped many single applicants go on to become successful adopters.
We have been married for 6 months, and lived together for 3 years before this – can we adopt now? Expand Yes. Adoption Focus accepts applications from married couples and unmarried couples, both heterosexual and same sex.
I have some concerns about contact with birth families. Is contact necessary? Expand Adopted children need to know and understand their history to help them to develop a sense of identity and integrate the past with the present. Most children need to maintain some form of contact with significant people from their past. This could be with brothers and sisters placed elsewhere, birth relatives or foster carers. Face to face contact with birth parents is rare. Generally contact with birth parents is via a letterbox exchange, at least once a year, managed by Adoption Focus and the Local Authority from which the child has been placed. This process does not reveal addresses. The importance of contact and ways of managing it are fully explained during the preparation process and agreed when a placement is being arranged. For more information, First 4 Adoption has a comprehensive section on contact in adoption here.
What is the difference between adoption and fostering? Expand When you foster a child, you are caring for them on behalf of the Local Authority and the birth parents. You have no legal rights or responsibilities in respect of the child. It is usually a temporary arrangement, although some fostering placements can be long-term. When you adopt a child you become their legal parent. This is permanent and the child has exactly the same legal status in your family as any other family member, which continues throughout their lifetime.
I’ve got lots of other questions, but I’m too embarrassed to ask. Expand Please ask us anything you need to know about adoption. We will probably be able to answer your query, but if we can’t we will get you an answer from one of our experts. There is nothing too embarrassing to ask – we would much rather that you ask us, rather than worry yourself out of adopting because of something you felt unsure about. Please contact us by telephone, by email or via our enquiry form.